This song was sang during the Encounters mtg yesterday with Sun(: The meeting was filled with His strong love for us. Sometimes we forget how much He loves us. And i was surprised the worship band sang How He Loves by Jesus Culture(:
You ease my troubles that's what you do. I love You Jesus.
I have a story to tell. It wouldn't be possible at all. But by His grace, through His love I am able. I thank God for this opportunity to be able to lead. I'm going back again.
I want to run to the altar To catch the fire
To stand in the gap between the living and dead
Give me a heart of compassion For a world without vision
I was reminded of Jesus how He love us so unconditional. In Matthew 22:63-64, He was mocked and beaten by human beings. He was blindfolded and they struck Him on the face to ask Him to prophesy who struck Him.
He didn't have to face all this because He is God. A God that was beaten, mocked, spit on yet did not retaliate not a single time. When He was about to die, He even asked His Father to forgive those people.. Such humility, such meekness, such love.. He didn't deserve that but because He love us and chose us to spend eternity with Him.
I feel so undeserved. I feel so unworthy. I am just a mere human being. Even if there is only 1 person in the world, He will still die for that only 1..Jesus..
Today was a nightmare alone trying to install the microsoft sql at my client's company! Managed to do it by the grace of God after 3 hours! Puji Tuhan! The company sells Scuba Diving equipment and have courses to learn diving! One day i want to learn and dive in and see the beautiful fishes. The best months are April and May :D
And I'm glad that I made the choice to attend my ministry leaders meeting even though I'm tired. Now i know so many Christian music releases and upcoming new ones and movies for the Music campaign! I want to buy all the music cds because they are all so good and Music Academy i'm definitely getting it :D Was surfing online last week to learn more about guitar theory and happened to pass by a site about Music Academy. Wanted to get it in my mind but confirm need visa and might be expensive so i just forget about it. But now Attributes gonna sell and its 40 bucks and 3 for 100 over dollars. Its worth it because i can learn it whenever i want and replay it over and over again! Self learning:D God knows my heart! The person from Integrity Music Asia said if you pick up the skills in all 3 levels you will be a super good guitarist! I need more skills and learn worship through the artists like Tim Hughes and Matt Redman in the Dvds! It is not a coincidence I know! God speak through natural means..Yes!
I'm loving NCC's worship song. Tears just flowed down as i just listened..
His Love just overwhelms. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope I can survive my first week! His grace is sufficient for me!
I still remember this song that always in SOT when we go for morning breaks. Amazing song about serving God. Jesus was born so that He could serve us and He became the greatest. I say YES! Mission trips is when my heart grows bigger for compassion.
Matthew 9:36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.
Matthew 14:14 And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick.
Matthew 15:32 [ Feeding the Four Thousand ] Now Jesus called His disciples to Himself and said, “I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And I do not want to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.” Matthew 15:31-33 (in Context) Matthew 15 (Whole Chapter)
In the whole of Matthew, God moved with compassion for the lost. Hence signs and wonders happened one after the other. Compassion!
Amazing worship as ever. We can lose everything in life but one thing we can't lose is His deep love for us. Love is the foundation, the beginning of something new. With love the impossible made possible. Because of love, we can have salvation.
I really love his voice. There's something special about him. I can't described it. When he sings, the presence of God is there. Something about him that i want to know.
As I look back at the photos taken during my time in SOT, it came unto me about God's goodness and faithfulness throughout these 6 months. I begin to feel God's presence. Never did I imagine myself going through SOT. I was changed. I remembered I doubted myself, my ability and my identity in Christ.
Since I came to church when I was 14+, I always wanted to do more for God. I always wanted to be use by God. I always wanted to be close to God. But throughout the years living as a Christian, I had many falls. I faced many obstacles and distractions that drew me away. Times when i'm far from God, my flesh desires the things of the world. And all along, every single day I knew He has been calling me to be by His side once more. Truly enough I did come back to His side because I came back to my senses that what I was searching for in this world could never satisfy me, could never give me.
When I was back by His side, I knew I couldn't love Him totally with all my heart because I had buried all the hurts, the disappointments all deep down and built a solid wall to prevent myself from being hurt. No matter how hard I tired to fight the pain, the thoughts every single night, I can't seem to break free. I seem to become a totally different person than I was before. I lost the joy I had. I lost my smile. Inside of me was full of bitterness. No matter how I tried to become the same person I was before smiling and laughing, I couldn't. I thought I could no longer be used by Him because I was so lost. I thought of giving up for trying so hard to struggle what's within me. Because I've hardened my heart, His love couldn't penetrate the solid walls. Even when I cried in His presence, my heart grew cold fast. But slowly, God dealt with me a step at a time.
He brought me back to what I was created for. He flashed the dreams He dropped into my heart when I was still a secondary kid, to serve Him wholeheartedly. I wanted to be a cell group guitarist. At that time, I was reluctant because I just got back on track with God and knew there's many things that my heart has not been dealt with. But I knew God wants me to and I told my cgl I wanted to be a cg guitarist. That was the breaking point of my life. I was hard pressed at every corners. I was trying my best to lead praise and worship but disappointments after disappointments put doubts in my heart that I can't be used by God given how broken I am that can't be fix. I saw many people rise up to another level with God but not me. I felt lousy. The position of a cg guitarist was taken away from me and I asked God why. So many whys till I came to a point that I surrendered myself to Him. Even if I can't be used by Him, it doesn't matter. Even to become a nobody, it doesn't matter because I will still use the talent He had given me to worship Him in my little room. I realized God wanted me to have a deeper relationship with Him. In the little room were the times God dealt with me and affirmed me about my dream. After a year, I became a cg guitarist again. He is always faithful. I enjoyed every single time I spent worshiping God and praising Him with my guitar.
But deep down, I still long for a change. A change of lifestyle, a change of view. I feel I needed a breakthrough in my walk with God. There came SOT. It was one of the hardest step to take because its out of my comfort zone. When I came into SOT, life was not easy. I had to step out of my boundaries to preach the Word of God, I had to lead worship, I had to lead games, share revelations, gave offering messages and many more. Those were impossible. I told myself if I could successfully go through SOT I would be a superwoman. There were many late nights thinking about the sermons to prepare, assignments to be done and would sleep the least an hour and attend SOT the next day. I thank God for His strength that strengthens me throughout SOT. God dealt with my heart during those 6 months. I experienced His unquenchable love that was so deep and cried like a baby many times. There, He spoke to me about His thoughts towards me and affirmed me about my future. I learnt about faith so much because I was sick for 1 week and was healed fast despite what the doctor has told me. I feel fortunate to be able to be in this 2011 batch because I could learn so much things from my team members.
When I was sent out for missions in Jakarta, I really had no idea how things were going to happen and start. I felt low because half of my team being sent out including me were not that good in preaching and half of the team were international students. I asked God is this possible that He sent out this half. But God made me understand one thing which is when human ability ends, there His grace will manifest. I literally leaned on His grace to the extend of having no choice but had to step in the gap to lead a children game last minute. It was like if I have to die, I die because everything happened in an instant. But thank God of His grace! I didn't expect to lead worship in the youth cg, but took up the courage and His presence was so strong in the room. Honestly, I was afraid. I was even afraid to share my testimony to a group of people. I always feel nervous to speak in public, even now I still do. I couldn't do all these without His grace. Puji Tuhan! God made me see that He sill could use us even we have imperfections. He made me see that all it takes is a willing heart. Through this mission trip, we grew closer with one another which was part of His plan too I believe. I learnt so much from my friends in Jakarta. Pushing the boundaries, making the impossible possible. I thank God for the gift of laying of hands, discerning people and gift of prophecy.
My life in SOT has made an impact for the rest of my life. The 1 thing that I will not forget in SOT will be loving God and loving people. Thank You Jesus for this opportunity to be able to experience You in a different way.
I still have many fears need to be conquered, character to be built, capacity to be enlarged. Everyday I'm falling in love with Jesus more and more. A pure heart to love Jesus is all I want and ever need. A heart without evil intentions, without wrong motives but a humble one that yearns and seeks only Him.
I am back and ready to take a lift. It was a tough journey and I finally got through everything. I've made it, right to the start.
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
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I have a story to tell. It wouldn't be possible at all. But by His grace, through His love I am able.